


He Had Only Been a Child

by uchvha



Series: one-shots [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Angst, POV Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Massacre, Uchiha Sasuke Has Issues, Uchiha Sasuke-centric, Unreliable Narrator, i literally don't know what this is, pls get sasuke some help, this is a really strange writing style, uchiha sasuke angst, yeah idk what else to tag this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 20:07:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,174
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29459508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/uchvha/pseuds/uchvha
Summary: Sasuke's thoughts up until the end of his fight with Danzou
Relationships: Dai-nana-han | Team 7 & Hatake Kakashi, Haruno Sakura & Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto, Hatake Kakashi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Itachi & Uchiha Sasuke, Uchiha Sasuke & Uzumaki Naruto
Series: one-shots [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2141763
Kudos: 21





	He Had Only Been a Child

**Author's Note:**

> hi i literally dont know what this is i was just bored and felt like writing some angst so here we are with a really strange writing style (that was surprisingly difficult to write) and yeah anyways hope u enjoy ??

He’d only been a child when the blinding rage had begun to take hold.

_Foolish little brother._

A child, so full of complete and utter terror, that all he could do was cling onto the next strongest feeling inside of him so that he wouldn’t drown in the fear that was consuming him.

_If you want to kill me…_

Hatred and anger so strong that it could even block out his fear…

_Then begrudge me!_

… was all he had.

_Hate me!_

Sasuke Uchiha had only been a child, no older than 7, when he had to learn to cling onto his hatred like a lifeline, so as to not drown in the despair and fear that threatened to overwhelm him.

_And live in an ugly manner…_

_Run away… run away… and cling to life…_

_And one day, when you have the same eyes as I do…_

_… come and stand before me!_

  
  
  


Only he didn’t have those eyes. He had been too weak… too weak to kill the only person who could understand his loneliness. 

He had been pathetic…

… a disgrace to the Uchiha name. 

  
  


How was he ever supposed to kill Itachi if he couldn’t even kill the weakling in front of him?

  
  
  


Since the age of seven, Sasuke had harboured so much rage that his entire reason for _existing_ was to kill Itachi… to kill the man who had lied to him, betrayed him.

The man who had taken everything from him. 

The man who _dared_ called himself Sasuke’s older brother, a _proud member_ of the Uchiha clan. 

  
  
  


_Nii-san!_

He was weak.

_Nii-san! Mother and Father are…_

Pathetic.

_Why? For what reason?_

How could he call himself an Uchiha when he had just stood there and watched? 

_Who the hell would do something like this…?_

  
  


Sasuke Uchiha was a coward… he had known since the moment he stepped foot in the Uchiha district that night. 

Since the moment he just _watched_ as his entire clan was slaughtered in front of him, too many times to count. 

~~_He could still hear the screams-_ ~~

So, he decided that the next best way to not be a coward was to get revenge – to kill Itachi and make him _know_ how much he had suffered…

How much his mother had suffered.

How much his father had suffered. 

That was his goal… the only thing to keep him going and to keep him from drowning in his own emotions. Emotions were a liability, after all. He neither knew nor cared for what would happen after he completed his goal, all that mattered was killing Itachi. 

Even if that meant he gave his body up to Orochimaru.

He would do whatever it took to kill _that man._

  
  
  


And so he did. 

  
  


_Forgive me, Sasuke. This is it._

Nothing would ever be able to compare to the heart wrenching ache that followed these words as they played again and again in his mind. The truth, which had once left him gasping for breath and shaking, now just brought waves of seemingly endless suffering that was all but overwhelming him. 

Sasuke wouldn’t let it overwhelm him yet. 

He still had his hatred, and there was still work to be done.

  
  
  
  


_Making revenge your sustenance resolves nothing._

Sasuke’s anger seemed to only burn ever brighter and stronger at those words… what could the Kazekage possibly know about him? How could he even _think_ that he knew a single thing about Sasuke’s situation? Long ago he’d made revenge his life force, his entire reason for existing. Just because Itachi was dead, it didn’t mean that he could stop there.

There was still evil that needed to be taken down.

In that moment, however, he allowed himself to stop and think. 

_What if that evil includes me?_

He silenced the thought immediately. No point dwelling on his own wrongdoings anyways, as long as he took down the people that had caused all of his and Itachi’s pain. 

  
  
  
  
  


A smile tugged at his lips as he looked down at the blood on his hands… _Danzo’s_ blood. 

He didn’t care how insane he looked.

His mission was finally complete. 

  
  
  
  
  


_The only one who can handle all of your hatred is me!_ _  
_ No… he couldn’t handle it. Even after Danzo had died, there were still more people he had to get revenge on… 

The _Elders_ who never said anything against Danzo or tried to stop him from issuing the order to have his clan massacred.

The _children_ and other villagers who _smiled_ unknowingly… who _smiled_ because of Itachi’s sacrifice.

_Itachi, Mother, Father…_

Rage continued to boil inside of him, stronger than ever before. 

_...help me_

Sasuke wanted to laugh. Not because he was happy by any means, but to let his old teammates know how far gone he was. No… he wanted to tell them how much he was itching to kill them, to wipe the stupid grins that he could see so clearly in his mind off their faces, because he honestly had no clue what kind of expressions they were making at the moment… his vision was far too blurry to tell.

Either way, he wanted those smiles _gone._ Just like the rest of the Konoha citizens, they had no clue that they were smiling because of Itachi’s sacrifice… because of his _clan’s_ sacrifice. They were all gone, gone _forever_ just so nobody would ever know the truth.

He could almost see the dead bodies in his mind, mocking him. 

They never truly left, after all. 

_Help me…_

_Itachi, Mother, Father…_

_...please._

  
  
  


What startled him most was when Naruto suddenly yelled something about knowing the truth… how could he know?

_Some guy named Tobi told me the truth about your clan!_ _  
  
_

How?

_Come home Sasuke, please! I can talk to Granny Tsunade and we can take the Elders out of power so they don't hurt anyone else._

How could he…

~~_Nii-san help-_ ~~

  
  


It was in that moment that, instead of laughing hysterically, instead of telling Kakashi and Naruto and Sakura how much he was truly _itching_ to kill them, he felt warm tears streaming down his face. 

_Why? Why was he crying?_

No sound came out of his mouth, he just cried silently as he collapsed to his knees.

~~_Weak, pathetic, a disgrace to the Uchiha name-_ ~~

Warm arms circled around him, and for some reason Sasuke couldn’t bring himself to care who they belonged to and he sunk into them. He allowed the warmth to envelop him, to take over the rage that had been fueling him for so long.

_It felt nice to feel something than the burning hot hatred that had overwhelmed him for so, so long._

_It’s okay._ The person, who he had now identified as Kakashi, whispered to him. _It’s just as Naruto said… he knows and I know the truth too. We can go home and convince Tsunade-sama to take the Elders out of power. You don’t have to suffer anymore._

  
  
  
  


Sasuke closed his eyes, feeling his anger dissipate.

Maybe going home wasn’t such a bad idea, after all.

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i always felt like we needed sasuke to kinda break down a bit at one point in the story,,, after everything it was kinda weird to not see something like that in there so here's this i guess lol


End file.
